Writing.
For years I have kept a private journal, in Spanish, English and sometimes French. What follows is a curated selection: 274 entries lightly edited for a reader and stripped of names and things that belong only to the people who lived them. What remains is the shape of a mind trying to organize itself, one day at a time.
Filter by year or by theme. Entries appear newest first.
42 entries
23/03/23March 23, 2023
systemsdiscipline
The nature of internal incentives
Procrastination exists at the macro, micro, and nano levels. I am beginning to realize that the response to this, much like the reason for waking up early, lies in understanding internal systems. Our internal world is mirrored by external systems, both of which are rooted in nature. If you investigate the human mind and its interrelated structures, you will find the answers to why we act. My own internal system possesses specific incentives for executing complex tasks. Incentives are the fundamental building blocks for both policy makers and entrepreneurs. To master myself, I must decode these incentives, as they are the levers that move the gears of production and discipline.
23/03/23March 23, 2023
learningambition
Failing fast to build persuasion
I need to diversify my 'trust deposit' by intentionally improving my communication skills, specifically in public speaking, debate, sales, and negotiation. Because these are long term assets without a direct or urgent pressure in the short term, I must find ways to force this growth, perhaps even artificially. The goal is to fail as fast, as cheaply, and as early as possible in my practice. The sooner I make these mistakes, the better prepared I will be for the future. True mental and financial independence are currently in the process of integration, and sharpening these persuasive tools is a critical part of that evolution.
21/03/23March 21, 2023
disciplineambitionsystems
The utility of internal competition
I have realized that imagining competition around me while I exercise provides a powerful boost exactly when things get difficult, helping me push through the final set or block of a routine. In the same way I once felt a fierce competitive pressure in my previous professional environments, I can now channel that feeling at will toward anything involving my own development and evolution. Constraints are useful tools. Feeding my competitive nature through imagination, rather than just relying on memory, allows me to drive growth on my own terms.
21/03/23March 21, 2023
disciplinepurposeidentity
Waking up by choice
I am changing my morning alarm to trigger a new habit. The goal is to start this stage of life by waking up early not because I am forced to work or study, but because I choose to. I want to rise because I prefer the series of actions and habits awaiting me each day. These rituals are not just tasks; they are reflections of who I am, who I want to be, and what I want to achieve. Choosing the trigger is the first step in owning the day.
21/03/23March 21, 2023
leadershiplearningpurpose
The discipline of radical empathy
In every conversation, my objective should be to learn from the other person, driven by curiosity. Listening more than talking is the only way to demonstrate a genuine interest in understanding my neighbor and discovering if there is any way I can be of help. Everyone has their own love language. If I understand those around me and what they need, I can adapt to them without sacrificing my identity. As Aldous Huxley suggested, what people ultimately seek is just a bit of kindness in every thought, word, and action. Empathy and effective communication must prevail.
21/03/23March 21, 2023
familyidentityfaith
Objectivity and gratitude in roots
I must remember that many of my greatest efforts have been driven by love for my parents and what they represent to me. Examining both the positive and negative aspects of my perception of them allows me to move closer to reality and a more objective view of who they truly are. This objectivity comes without losing the respect and love I have for the education they gave me through their example. Recognizing this allows me to let go of old weights and feel a genuine appreciation for my environment once again. Kindness is what prevails and what always wins in the long term.
19/03/23March 19, 2023
healthdisciplinesystems
Designing identity through deterministic habits
My sleep is a critical component of my peak performance. Through empirical observation, I have identified the patterns that disrupt my rest: eating to excess late at night, failing to respect my 'deactivation ritual,' and overstimulating my mind with intense reading too close to bedtime. By completing a ritual of a shower, meditation, and prayer, alongside a 'closing of the books' for today and planning for tomorrow, I can systematically decrease anxiety. I am treating these changes not as mere tasks, but as a 'deterministic project' to reshape my identity. If I believed that 'I am just this way,' I would have no incentive to seek solutions. By viewing my brain as a plastic structure that can be designed and built at will, I am laying the groundwork for building systems larger than myself.
18/03/23March 18, 2023
disciplineambitionpurpose
Execute first and build the masterpiece
I must realize that my life is mine alone. I cannot carry the burden of satisfying everyone else's needs, as that only leads to a happiness that depends on others. If I do not stay true to my intuition and who I want to be, my dreams will slip through my fingers like sand in an hourglass. The goal is simple: just start. Whether it goes well or poorly at first, just begin. Every habit I have built is a single brick in a larger structure. It is my decision whether to build something extraordinary (a masterpiece that marks a before and after in history) or a common, average building. True growth comes from the cycle of: execute, think, repeat. Move as fast and as cheaply as possible to evolve through experiential learning and consistent discipline.
17/03/23March 17, 2023
ambitionlearningsystems
The power of selection in professional networks
I recently interviewed with the founders of a fintech startup. I see this as an innovative firm that can help me master negotiation (a vital skill for the future) and deepen my technical expertise in business valuation and industrial analysis. It is an opportunity to build long-term connections in the startup ecosystem. To succeed, I must push myself out of my comfort zone by being more expressive about who I am: my ideas, experiences, principles, and values. People will not always be interested, but it is rational to try every day regardless. If they don't care, they will simply forget, so there is no reason to fear being 'discovered.' While I have used a protective outer layer to shield myself from toxic or unrequited relationships, I now have the power to identify who is worth my time and select the best people to surround myself with.
17/03/23March 17, 2023
leadershiplearningwork
Preserving professional relationships and the synthetic mind
I need to maintain healthy, transparent relationships with former mentors and colleagues. If you hesitate to call, say hello, or notify someone of a transition, remember how much it impacts you emotionally when those bridges are burned. These errors must not be repeated, as my relationships are my most important asset. Professionally, I want to refine my 'synthetic mind' to be multidisciplinary, building a solid foundation that is creative, ethical, and respectful. It is a golden opportunity to be in a position where I am effectively paid to learn. It is a win-win: I provide fresh energy and an outsider's perspective to improve processes, while I gain the knowledge and experience to help my family and grow as a professional.
16/03/23March 16, 2023
entrepreneurship ambitionmigrationdecisions
Overcoming the barrier of fear
Regardless of how I rationalize it, the things I procrastinate on can be traced back to a core issue of avoidant behavior. I've realized that creating necessity through short-term pressure is the best way to trigger action. I need to invest time in generating my own resources rather than depending on external help or scholarships. Achieving financial independence is a goal that requires me to be innovative and efficient today. The fear of others, even those who love me, cannot be my criteria for taking decisions. Many see change as a threat because they don't understand the modern landscape or my internal potential. I am no longer willing to guide my life by fear. I am willing to expose myself to the world, to make new mistakes, and to never repeat the old ones. It is time to fly and respect the objective of independence I set for myself years ago.
15/03/23March 15, 2023
disciplinehealthfaith
Rituals and the internal companion
I often fantasize about daily predictability because it satisfies my need for internal control and decreases anxiety. However, I must accept that not every day will be exactly the same. The key is to design rituals that auto-condition the mind for success. For example, a sleep ritual is necessary to ensure the rest needed for the next day's performance. Believing in 'why' I make this effort is linked to who I want to become. I think of my future self as a loyal companion I am building through self-respect (respecting the schedules and commitments I make with myself. Integrity and morals must point in the direction I choose. At the end of the day, I must externalize what needs to be done tomorrow, acknowledge what was executed, and give thanks for what occurred) whether it was a success or a lesson. This is the only way to calm the mind and let go.
14/03/23March 14, 2023
adversitydiscipline workidentity
Radical personal responsibility
No one is going to do the work for me. No one is going to be disciplined for me, no one will save me, and no one will perform at a world-class level on my behalf. No one will exercise, meditate, study, or invest for me. Only I have the complete information on which mechanisms and strategies can help me reach my goals faster and more efficiently. I have realized that the responsibility for my results falls entirely on me. Not on my parents, nor my country, nor the history of the places I have lived. If I am responsible, then I need to stop useless complaining and start executing. Consistency and disciplined work are where real progress lives. I am convinced that we learn through practice, moving from details to theory. I must stimulate my curious, empirical side and execute experimental actions to finally move forward. It is the only way.
14/03/23March 14, 2023
familyleadershipcalm
Practicing virtue through family
When I interact with my mother, I see it as an opportunity to practice virtues: empathy, compassion, and understanding. She often seeks to protect me from threats that do not exist, and her perspective is naturally biased by her own experiences and what she wanted for herself. However, I choose what I take from our interactions. I can choose to speak less about my plans to protect my creative and emotional freedom to make my own mistakes, reflect, and grow. I seek to be demanding with myself but compassionate and empathetic with others. By practicing these virtues daily with my family, I influence not only that relationship but also how I will treat others in the future. It is a win-win agreement where I decide to change myself first in order to change my environment. Before changing the world, first change yourself.
13/03/23March 13, 2023
disciplinedecisionsambition
Systems as tools for evolution
Order and control in one's progress should not be pursued for the sake of being methodical for its own sake. Rather, they are tools to evaluate how well one is traveling toward a break-even point of exponential progress. My decision-making, like that of any human being, is based on rationality and emotion. Emotion often carries more weight as the trigger for action. I must view my own emotional volatility not as a flaw, but as an opportunity to channel those impulses into the rational plans I have set for my long-term vision. I am willing to sacrifice things I do not value for what I do. My independence (physical, mental, emotional, and financial) is non-negotiable. I am willing to suffer in the short term for a superior good in the long term, as this is how real evolution has always emerged in every field of life.
13/03/23March 13, 2023
learningdisciplinesystems
The power of the daily minimum
The incremental growth I seek is found in reducing the workload into small sessions that are respected every single day. There is no other way. Stop believing that by doing a massive amount in one day you will be more respected or loved. The best process for mastering studies and life is creating systems divided into a very small daily minimum; inertia will eventually provide the incentive to increase the difficulty. I fail when I want to do something big and impossible from the start. The system is not the problem; the problem is the lack of respect for daily consistency. Do not do it for grades, prestige, or a diploma. Do it to heal your relationship with learning, where real memory and a disciplined, synthetic mind prevail. Do not look at today's actions with today's eyes; see them for their inertial potential in the future. Divide and respect.
12/03/23March 12, 2023
purposesystemsambition
The internal flow of abundance
I have realized that the reason my energy often fails to flow is because of a blockage within. If I give love to the world, I receive it. If I give love to myself through my actions, as I did today, I can continue giving to others. It is not about seeking validation externally; everything starts from within. Only by keeping the stream moving can I genuinely serve the world and find abundance in the opportunities and relationships that come my way. Success is around the corner for those who have the courage to believe in their potential and work alongside the best minds. Seeking positive serendipity while keeping everything under my control in order is the formula for progress. When you want something too desperately, you push its energy away. I must simply act with disinterested generosity and empathy, being my pure, authentic self without fear.
11/03/23March 11, 2023
identitysystemspurpose
Autonomy and the beauty of choice
I am working to achieve a specific state of being: where my interpersonal relationships consist of autonomous and independent individuals who choose to be together because of the mutual, reciprocal, and healthy value they provide each other. This is the essence of everything. When you combine profiles like these, you create the potential for the 'surprise factor' (the ability to build incomparable things through joint and cooperative work). My bucket list goal is to have a relationship where my partner and I choose to be together without needing or depending on one another. Centralization in relationships, like in geopolitics, only creates vulnerability to external shocks. Diversifying my emotional 'deposits' among trusted friends and mentors isn't just a safety net; it strengthens the bonds of genuine trust.
11/03/23March 11, 2023
disciplinesystemswork
Building systems from the inside out
Discipline and balance are ideas I want to settle into. It's not about depriving myself of what I enjoy, but learning to manage my impulses so they don't control me. It is about dominating my reactive side (whether it's a poor relationship with food, the obsession with rationalizing every emotion, or just sleeping for the sake of sleeping). I am combining emotion with rationality for the common good, starting from myself and moving outward. I am building systems from the inside out. There is no negative emotion that should stop me; these emotions are useful tools once I know how to focus my efforts productively. Today is the greatest gift of existence, and the time to execute is now.
11/03/23March 11, 2023
learningadversitydecisions
The infinite game of self correction
If I use an error to attack myself and damage my self-esteem or identity, I am letting my 'Internal Critic' defeat my 'Internal Coach.' That is unacceptable. An error is an opportunity to practice reflection and to be my own best friend. The successful and the different perceive the error as a way to learn and improve infinitely. It is the 'Infinite Game' in all its splendor. Whether it's missing an event or falling behind on a deadline, the value lies in using that friction to sharpen my intuition and ensure my word carries real power. When my intuition identifies a specific energy or a path, I must follow it. It computes much faster than the conscious mind ever could.
"When thou risest unwillingly, let this thought be present, I am rising to the work of a human being."